Category Archives: testeMENt.

Brotherly Love Lost.

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Back in the day the community was a family. One person’s struggle was the struggle of all and one person’s triumph fell on the shoulders of all, to inspire and uplift. Now a days it seems like everyone is in it for the preservation of self. Where does that actually get you in the long run? If you make it and leave, then you are a sell out but if you make it and stay then you’re an idiot. What is the balance?

As Men, we are often the leaders, whether it be of the house or the block. We must use this power and this platform in order to build the minds of those we have influence over. Teach them that the success of another does not hinder that of his/her own. That it is possible to acknowledge that others are great without dimming their own light. That is the ultimate balance that much be reached in order to growth as groups instead of as individuals. We are quick to praise a celebrity for earning another million dollars that they might not even get a chance to spend because of the dozens on millions that preceded it, but a young man growing up in a one parent household gets a full ride to a university simply off of intellect and people assume that he stuck up because he is taking the first step in turning his humble beginning into an empire in a different zip code. Why must we encourage the complacent and crucify the driven.
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Why do we envy our own but idolize the characters that act in this ongoing soap opera that overflows into every industry entitled “Money Does Buy Happiness”? This facade fueling our environment to make money by any means necessary that we may someday live a lifestyle where we too can forget the sting of a tear and the strain of a frown on our faces even if it mean that no one else can radiate in the glow of a smile. Why?

When I turn the heat on in my house, does your house get colder? When a Man exercises does that make you any fatter? A Man should be competitive and never complacent, but please do not confuse complacency with happiness, blessing are meant to be enjoyed so never overlook them.

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Now once you have attained, it is now time to give back. Now a lot of people grow up humble, then by the grace of God obtain a very comfortable living, then try to feed the entire community and end up humble again. This happens because as Men we want to be the provider and we love to feel needed but what we forget is that sometimes are presence does way more than our pockets ever could. We must spend time giving back to the community in lieu of money. Money is disposable but time is precious. Help clean a neighborhood park, help coach your elementary sports teams, visit the elderly that kept you off the streets because its because of the time they gave up that you are able to give time instead of doing time. For this always be grateful. We must reciprocate love above all.

I love you, God loves you, Love Yourself,

Man of Madu

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Leave the Excuses and Become an Example.

The downfall of the Black Man, I believe is our reliance on the excuse. Instead of using the stereotypes as fuel to break the chain of mediocrity, we tend to use it as a crunch. We fear what is outside of our comfort zone and therefore never venture out.  A wise man once said, success awaits, right outside of our comfort zone.

As Men, we try so hard to do things on our own and that contributes to our downfall. Success has always been and will always be a team sport. You can not climb a mountain without gear, the road to success is no smoother and no less steep.

When we fail, as all do, that is not the time to blame the system. This is the time revise your game plan and outwork your past self. The you of yesterday is your greatest opponent.

EXCUSES are no longer acceptable for lack of drive. Too many people blame not having a father growing up for the bad decisions. Personally I  do not see the correlation. During my peak development as a young Man around 10-13, I lived over a 100 miles away from my father and saw him once in those three years. So I could have gotten out of control and said Im going to make long lasting bad decisions but instead, I began reading.

I knew that I did not have access to a strong Black Man, I read up on some, learning what they did as young Black Men to become great. In 7th and 8th grade when I was the only one in my class reading for recreation, I was not only reading extra thick Harry Potter books to grow my reading skills, I also was reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X . By 8th grade I was reading on a 12th grade level. Im not gassing myself, I am just giving an example of how to not become a victim of your circumstance.

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Next point is EXAMPLE, we are Men, as Men we take on the role of leader. Our decisions affect those who watch us. If you go around sagging your pants and calling Women out of their names your little brother, cousin, whomever is to think that, that is what Men do. That is not acceptable. We are the mold for our youth and that responsibility must be taken seriously! There are too many kids that have been to too many funerals because their “ROLE MODELS” want to make irresponsible decisions that affect dozens.

It is never too late to succeed.

I love you, God loves you, Love yourself,

Man of Madu

What’s Love Got to do With It?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

As young people we are very easily influenced by the environment around us, which is not always a bad thing but we need to realized that every example is not to be duplicated. This is especially true when it comes to matters of the heart.

Ever since I was little, I loved, love. I loved how there was no limit to it. I could run out of food, water, friends and family but two thing I would always have was air in my lungs and love in my heart. So I take it personally when people misuse the term to justify, irrational actions.

It is not only our Queens suffering from this, but it is very prominent. Ladies you must set a line that once crossed you put your feeling to the side in exchange for your happiness. Happiness is the most important thing to society and it is ALWAYS worth fighting for. Know that you are a Queen and deserve to be treated as such. There a roughly about 3 Billion men on this planet, statically for you to stay with an “Aint-Shit” guy is madness.

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But only you know your limits. I have seen many women wait too long and others wait until its too late. I pray for the eradication of the latter.

Love does not make someone stay in an unhealthy relationship, fears does. And God has not put fear in us, Man has done that. Notice I said Man and not Males, theres a difference.

I love my house to death but if it were to catch fire I would leave it in ahot second! Some of you need to get out of your burning houses.

Easiest way to know if your relationship is healthy is communication, if he/she if telling you they dont want you BELIEVE THEM! You deserve the best and dont settle for anything less!

You wouldnt trade a diamond for a stone, so why would you give your heart to someone so undeserving?

As Always; I love you, God loves you, Love yourself,

Man of Madu

When A Man Loves A Woman

 
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So I spent Mother’s Day at a nursing home where my grandmother is staying. So as I sit with my Mother, Grandmother, and Aunt, enjoying some fried chicken, I raise the question, “Why have Black Women, given up on Black Men”? My Grandmother was the first to respond, her answer was quick and direct, “Because, they got tired”.
 
Now lets go back, way back. Back to the times of slavery where there was no such thing as a Black Family in America. During slavery if two Blacks were under suspicion of being married, one was immediately sold, and if one was bold enough to start a family, then the entire family was sold, children and all. So needless to say a Black Family was coveted for some time. Then during times of segregation Black Families thrived, since there was no other options for Blacks but to procreate with other Blacks. But from the stories I have been hearing, it seemed that once interracial relationships became more socially acceptable, Black Men tended to migrate toward this uncharted territory.
 
How often do we see athletes make it in whatever sport and marry a woman of color? I feel as if Women of different races are often seen as a symbol of “We made it” to Black Men. They feel as if once you reach a certain point you outgrow a Black Woman. My question is where would we be if our Fathers or Grandfathers “outgrew” our mothers and grandmothers?
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Having been raised by two very strong Black Women, I have always put Black Women on a pedestal. I have been attracted to all ethnicities but it was always something about a Black Woman that always made me grin a little wider and sweat a little more.
When I picture my future wife , I picture a Women of African descent of which we can both pass this strong lineage onto our children. But as they say, every thing aint for everybody.
 
Now I want to discuss the treatment of Women in general. Men, we have to do better! As a Man you are only as good as your word, any businessman will tell you the same. So why do so many of us lie to these Women? At some point you have to take responsibility for yourself in order to have a healthy relationship. If you are not ready for a relationship, DO NOT ENTER one. You are wounding these Women and making it harder for her to find someone worth her time and energy. I find it funny that many Men try so hard to attain as many Women as possible, when the only people who are impressed by your body count are other Men. Something is not right. There will come a time where you will want a warm body to hold at night but you spent so much time avoiding relationships, that you do not know how to thrive in one. And I have heard it from the horse’s mouth that once a Woman reaches a certain age she does not want a project, she wants a Prince, and who can blame her. Its crazy how some of yall have watched the tears pour down the faces of Women in your lives becuase off no good Men, yet you perpetuate the cycle, is that the homage you pay to those who create life?
 
In Conclusion honesty will always be the best policy, Women are not objects so there is no need for games. In order to grow up you have to think grown. Man up and start treating these Women like you want your, Mother, Sister and Daughter treated. When a King has a strong Queen, the empire shall thrive.
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As always, I love you, God loves you, Love Yourself,
 
Man of Madu

Becoming Smarta in Sparta.

images-36My Brothers, as Men we are taught to be Warriors, Providers,Conquers and to Sacrifice. But when have we been taught to maintain our temple? We have been taught to hit the gym and make sure our outside are at their prime. But when have we been taught to keep our inner sanctuary as clean its stone exterior? For me, Never. I was taught like many of you that if anything happened, to “Walk It Off” or “You’ll Be Alright”. I recall spraining a finger playing football, and continuing playing with the opposite hand and breaking my ankle and having to walk without aid, up a giant flight of steps and then to the nurses office. But the time for that is over. Ill be alright is no longer an acceptable answer to many of the quarrels that happen within our bodies. We have no choice but to start taking care of ourselves, and sorry to break the news to you but Gram Grams gumbo will not fight Cancer by any means.
Black men lead American cases as the most diagnosed and most Cancer related deaths. This is unacceptable! We must do better if not for us. For our future Queens as well as future princes and princesses. This fallacy of the indestructible black man has to stop! Not now, but RIGHT NOW!
Here is a little story from my life, my dad is a Pastor of his own church as well as works a full time job, so needless to say he is pretty busy. One thing about my dad is he always visited the doctors office regularly. So flashback about nine months ago he goes to doctor for a routine check up, and he is referred to a specialist. Eh no big deal. So time goes by, the appointment for the specialist is never made, life goes on. Now fast forward to early March, dizzy spells set in, fatigue, but you know he is a very active 54 year old man so that does not come without it side affects. So he goes to the doctor and is immediately reserved a spot in a hospital because he has just been diagnosed with Leukemia. Boom. Just like that. Whole world changed. Now he was fortunate enough that they found a match for a blood marrow transplant is a local hospital, which for men of color is not always an easy task.
So back to my original point MEN we can no longer afford, to let our Pride stop us from seeking help. The price has gotten to high. We can no longer afford to say ‘Ill be alright. images-37We can no longer afford, self-diagnosis. Why? Because WE can no longer afford to lose our black men. With every life battle loss, we lose a preacher, a teacher, a father, a mentor, a brother, a husband. If we are to be soldiers, then we must take every precaution to stay on this earth as long as we can. If you have insurance, USE IT. I know some of us dont, but then it is your responsibility to find free clinics to make sure your fire is not extinguished before it can heat the heart of another.
My Brothers, WE must love ourselves how God has love us in order to reach each and every personal mountaintop that we may have.
Hotep.

Taking the “why” out of the Y-Chromosome

Being a Man is not a Destination but a Journey. There is no one path, speed or direction. Allow me to be your Atlas, Walking Stick and Rest Stop.
Growing up I was fortunate enough to have many greats instructors, when it came to Manhood. I gained various perspectives on love, responsibility, work ethic, etc. But biggest lesson was that Knowledge without Application is Sustenance without growth. You can be the smartest man in the world but if you do not display this knowledge by ways of fellowship, academia or what have you, then what is it worth?
As everyone has something to gain, we also all have something to give. Share your stories, anecdotes, Pop Pop’s style guide, whatever you want! Let your blessings become blessings to others. Lets us grow together as Men and as people. THIS IS A CONVERSATION, not a lecture so if whether its a Amen or a Hell Naw! let you voice be heard!
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“One man with courage makes a majority.”
–Andrew Jackson